Hol-l-ly crap. Such a Nice year already.
Well. Were doomed. Our president is illegally subverting our government right in front of us.
Sneaking controversial new laws over a holiday,doing the same thing over a normal weekday (like, for instance, today.) Check out drudge report for the latest.
Anyway, Other than that wonderful bit Of news Hopefully your holidays went without a hitch! The elder family gifted me a wonderful non-flesh eating computer full of wonderful distractions.
Oh, and the russians found a alien body. I’m really quite skeptical of this for two reason.
1. It looks like the widely accepted view of the proverbial “little Green Man” (Or LGM) Why doesn’t anyone ever find a Alien that looks totally different from the stereotypical Big head skinny arms thing.
2. They found it in russia. It’s not like their known for their trustworthyness. You know, Not really.
3. Wtf.
4. Wtf?
What do you guys think?
This site is now Anti-libtard, and Pro-Israel. If you don’t like it, You can get the hell off my lawn.
Well, they did it again. The libtards created a new site called “Attack Watch”
It’s supposed to Prove that O’Bugger is actually NOT killing the country one kick at a time. I have disproved them.
“The Obama administration has strengthened our borders while making our immigration system smart and fair.”
Pffff! sure, that why citizens are being shot.
“President Obama is a friend to Israel, despite unfounded claims to the contrary.”
Right, Thats why we pressured them to give up their own (literally) God-given land. Lets try doing that to Great Britain.
“President Obama believes in common sense gun control laws compatible with Second Amendment rights.”
Uh Huh. Thats why he was talking about banning gun shows and loading them with illegal venders to entrap honest citizens.
“President Obama was born in the United States and is an American citizen, period.”
Bullshit. Utter libtard bullshit. The birth certificate was obviously faked. It was reviewed by experts who also said it was faked. Period.
“By providing assistance to auto companies, President Obama saved more than a million jobs and prevented the American auto industry from collapsing.”
Oh man, And gave china how many more? I Live in close proximity to the car industry and I can tell you first hand, Its STILL not going well. And hasn’t gotten better for any length of time.
“The Affordable Care Act promotes quality, affordable health coverage for all Americans, regardless of the industry they work in or their union status.”
While forcing you to wait months for sub-standard and over priced care. Which, as a taxpayer, they will actually pay more due to the tax increase.
“President Obama is eliminating outdated regulations while strengthening commonsense standards to promote health and safety.”
Oh, Wow. And here I thought he was just golfing. Obviously this hasn’t gotten to where I’M at since its still as bad as ever. In fact, It got WORSE.
Oh oh! Don’t forget! He also won the nobel peace prize before he was done with his first year in orifice.
So, Yeah… I’m pissed. That whole site is spin-control.
Alright, I lied.
So, things could be going better. Obama’s presidency has pretty much fireballed through the last year and half. The EU is in the process of collapsing. Were boots on the ground in Lybia. And now our right to free speech is being threatened. At least, I don’t see how this can be a good thing. It’s never a good thing.
But, there comes a certain point in everyone’s life where you just have to point and laugh. This point has arrived for me. I laugh. I chortle. I guffaw. At everything. Sometimes Most of the time, it’s not even funny. There’s not a lot to laugh about lately but you can’t go through life without any joy. You have to find something to laugh about. Like, for instance, the fact that my cats have mastered the art of shooting nerf darts at their humans (Seriously. It’s quite entertaining.) I brought the trash can of doom inside last night. I’m regretting it though since it’s raining right now and it’d be better to let the buggers drown. Nasty lil’ things.
Mono,
P.S. So much for not talking about politics.
Here’s a shocker, Osama wanted to kill Obama.
Wonder who figured that one out. Kinda obvious isn’t it? You’d think, that with all the high tech whatchamacallits they could’ve figured out that the leader of the OTHER guys, wanted to kill our leader. sheesh.
In other news, Another russian P.O.S. car is now on the market. A brand new “lady granta” Took 5 tries to start. even with all the B.S. they poured into it to make it start for the extra propaganda. Lol. This is why I never buy russian cars. I like my cars to stay in one piece over 40 mph (that’s 60 kph for everyone else) Anyway, May lady gaga never take fashion advice from you.
Mono,
Sick no more!! (I blame plastic, al gore, and Mc donalds)
Well, after brief run in with Evil food and/or drink, I’m back! yay!
Saw that missile thing on the tele…. now people are saying it was a plane? Bah, it’s ALWAYS an alien probe…. don’t these people know anything?
In other news, Weather men LIE, it did NOT snow… in fact, there was absolutely NO precipitation at all! (great for you rocket nuts!) I will be starting a petition to ban incorrect weather men soon! yay!
M.T.E,
Snow by the end of the week?! Crap.
I just found out that where i live, It’s about to snow…. So bring on the shovels, road salt and kids building snowmen over fire hydrants! At least if there’s a couple feet of snow A certain idjit won’t fill up my trashcan! (yay) .
In other news the republicans clobbered the democrats last night! yay!
We voted out most of the Democrats but (somehow) harry reid won…. huh…. you’d think he’d be the first to go….. ahh well. Can’t have everything… : D
M.T.E.
Voting day! ugh.
Well, todays the day…. Don’t forget to vote, yadda yadda…… according to S.Weasel, there’s a southpark marathon on the viva channel….. yay…. at least it’ll get the election outta my head…. yuck. I hate this time of year…. I also think i’m coming down with something… great……
Viva la G.I.C.!! happy tuesday! M.T.E.
“The rent is, TOO DAMN HIGH…”
Lol, politics is funny…. especially when the party is called “the rent is too damn high party” it’s…. too funny to explain…. just go to this link, and watch this guy….. its incredible…..
“May you live long, and have a life filled with pastries!” – Me, just now.
M.T.E.
Person Pays $5 mil for iphone 4. (and Glacier Body Condoms)
A wealthy Australian has paid $5 Million dollars For a jewel encrusted Iphone 4.
*Sigh* Why? It’s stupid, In a couple months they’ll come out with a Iphone 5 ! And why spend so much on a phone? people lose those things! they get stolen, dropped, smashed, etc, why bother? It seems useless to pay so much for something like that….. ugh.
For all you “treehuggers” out there, Fresh from the Enviro-Nut Manufacturers comes, Glacier Body Condoms! (Not kidding.) So you can Finally get a restraining order From Mammals AND Inanimate objects.
As Spoken by EJ the Elder,
“Once again, they keep nature at arm’s length, the experience controlled, managed. They should do all this weird stuff naked, instead of not actually feeling the ice or the jungle. Then, they should construct a shelter, using green technology, of course, a sustainable, purpose-built biodegradable, right-sized earth dwelling, with no walls to keep nature out, or roof to shut out the sky. They should live there, in harmony with their like-minded earth-brothers, polar bears in the north, jaguars in the jungle. They would experience something real, really REAL, man, actually out there with real nature, just livin’, ya know? THAT would be really great, just great.”
http://michellemalkin.com/2010/10/14/latest-in-enviro-nu-high-fashion-glacier-hugging-suits/
What’s really sad is that people are actually buying these things….. Just slightly worse than the “Snuggie”
Have a good weekend all! M.T.E (poor polar bears…)
Police station in Britain posting every 911 call on twitter. Why?
<Insert British "biscuit" here.> It'll always be a cookie to me.
The Greater Manchester Police Have Begun posting every “911” (999 over there.) call they receive onto the popular micro blogging site (well, supposedly popular…). Why? Isn’t that a invasion of privacy? What if i don’t want my entire block knowing that my 12′ Mickey Mouse Statue was stolen? And even if it is supposed to increase Inter-Station communication, Isn’t that what e-mail or radios or cell phones are for? Seems like yet another enabler for nosy people. Wonder when (“IF” hopefully. ) That’ll be coming across the pond for us… (if we don’t already have it.) At least in britain they tell you about it. (usually.)http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8063148/Police-report-every-incident-on-Twitter-for-a-day.html
Oh, Really quick, Ufo’s over New York, lemme know what you guys think, Hoax or real. They look like balloons to me though…
Oh, Before I forget! Sometime in last couple of days G.I.C. Reached over 1,000 views!!!! Right now it’s almost 1200! Thanks For the Views! I’ll Continue to bring…. well…. something…. Daily for a long time to come!
Monotone The Elderish
Man, this stuff just gets weirder and weirder..
A crazy (topless) 61 year old woman attacked two cops recently. hmm, wonder what the property values around there are? *shudder* nuts, And crazy as squrriel poo.
In other news, More riots in france protesting pension reform… hmm…. think i’ll stay away from there for a while….
Also! I Hereby declare today SLURPEE DAY!! ( in honor of Obama’s elitetists republicans beverage of choice (lol slurpee’s? that’s REALLY the best he can come up with?)
Lol.
’till next time, M.T.E
Man Streaks In Front Of Obama For $1 Million (Oh and I’m Back.)
A man was Caught streaking In front of Pres. Obama For a million dollars.
The Money is promised by a Alki David, a Billionaire. (duh.)
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/man-streaks-front-obama-1-million_501259.html
Anyway, I’m Back. Weekend in a tent. *Shudder* it took us about 2 hours to get our paperwork in order. And by the time we were done it was dark ( of course. It Always is.) And due to missing/broken tent parts it was about another 3 hours before we finished setting up. It’s good to be back. Helloooo porcelain fixtures!
M.T.E.
UK public surveillance? wierd.
Tell me your take on this, It’s a Public online security camera. They stream it to your computers (if you live in the UK) and you watch consumers as they shop. If you happen to see a crime and they catch the perpetrators you get paid. Seems like it would be alot cheaper than a normal security camera. Although not as effective…
M.T.E.
Ugh, There goes the neighborhood….
We may soon discover interplanetary neighbors! Why would we want them i’m not sure. But yeah know, new planet somewhat near to us apparently… yay.
Also, Exoskeletons might be military issue soon! Yay! (It’s a slow news day, bear with me.)http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/scitech/2010/09/28/iron-man-suit-exoskeleton-raytheon/#slide=2
Oh, BTW, check this site out its very interesting (confusing, but interesting.)
M.T.E.
Gotta love the ” Being cooked alive.” thing…
Ok, i just had to tell you guys about this! Due to a building flaw, a pool in las vegas has become a focal point for solar rays. The heat is capable of melting plastic and has even caught a guys hair on fire. Seems like that would be bad for business. http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/las-vegas-hotel-pool-sunlight-swimming-tourists/story?id=11739234
*DEADPOOL UPDATE*
Jimmy carter just checked into a hospital. I’d watch’em if i were you.
M.T.E.
Your Tax Dollars At Work. Apparently.
Hello weekend….
First up today, two navy pilots are grounded after playing submarine with two $33 Million dollar helicopters. Damage was estimated at between $50,000 and $500,000. *shudder* http://www.10news.com/news/25143106/detail.html
Next, ever heard of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity?
well, apparently time differs between floors of a house. Even whether or not your sitting upright or not. Weird.
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/24/time-moves-faster-upstairs/
And, Aliens are messing with our nukes. *sigh* as if everyone else doing that wasn’t enough. Personally I think it’s rare weather phenomena. Or someone messing with photoshop.
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/23/aliens-monitoring-nukes-worry-ex-air-force-officers/
Monotone The Elderish
Chernobyl, Tourists, Parrots, Gas Bras, And Zucchini.
Feel like I’m coming down with something. Don’t ya love flu season?
Anyway,
First up for today, A Ukrainian native has invented a bra that doubles as a gas mask. hmmm… http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/23/emergency-remove-bra/
Also, In michigan, a man has been arrested for getting in a fight with a parrot. The guy lost. His reason for fighting with the parrot? He was trying to train it. When it didn’t listen he shook it. Hmm…. Don’t think it works that way…. What a nut.
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/25117348/detail.html
In other events, A woman in Montana fended off a 200 pound black bear with a zucchini. Eh, whatever works.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100923/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_bear_attack_zucchini_1
And finally, Tourists have begun flocking to the Chernobyl disaster site.
Why? Not sure. Since the radiations still there it seems quite stupid. it’s still over 35 times normal. Why not just go to Seaworld? See the fish, go home. much better than going to Chernobyl and getting a T-shirt says ” I went to the Chernobyl disaster site and all I got was this stupid T-shirt and Cancer in 20 years” At least when I go to sea world I don’t have to throw away my shows afterward.
A slightly under the weather, M.T.E.
Another bit on Kim Jong Il? Apparently.
The Korean Shuffle
If anyone had Kim Jong Il in mind for the dead pool, I suggest you hurry up and get’em in it. Doesn’t appear he’ll be around for much longer…
http://abcnews.go.com/International/ails-north-koreas-kim-jong-il/story?id=11642876
Although his coach might be gone before ‘ole kim.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/world-cup-2010-north-korean-coach-talks-kim/story?id=10931655
Yes, I’m feeling lazy, It’s a slow news week. BUT, I recently found this site called “http://www.thedonovan.com/“(or Argghhh! not sure on which one. lemme know which.) but that IS a link, Check it out.
A Lazy M.T.E.
Get it While it Lasts
Since (Obviously,) we need more people on a plane no matter what, these designers have created the new “economy seat” *shudder* where your pretty much standing up the whole trip. As one person said to me, “That way we’ll get better Disasters.” yeah, i’ll bet. These seats look like someones attempt at making everyone swear off planes and buy a suv. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/8001351/SkyRider-new-saddle-seat-allows-airlines-to-cram-more-passengers.html
And on that subject, hypocrisy at its height. Harry Reid showed up at a clean energy summit in los vegas. And instead of walking 100 yards, he drives it in a fleet of suv’s. While condemning said vehicle. Argh.
http://apps.detnews.com/apps/blogs/watercooler/index.php?blogid=667
If that wasn’t enough,
Remember that bill trying to give Obama the power to shut down the internet? Well, their trying to get it passed before the end of the year. Ugh, if Skynet doesn’t get us, these jokers will.
http://www.infowars.com/big-sis-to-get-expanded-role-in-policing-internet/
And, Finally, The worst one so far, (and thats saying something.)
A British teenager, (17) has been Deported and banned for life from ever entering re-entering the U.S.A. after sending Barack an email criticizing the U.S. goverment and calling obama a “p***k”. Should I start planning on seeing “Dr. Breens private reserve” soon? Or does that come later?
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3135327/Obama-rant-Brit-banned-from-US-for-life.html
Priority issue’s
So, You might’ve heard about the guy down in Florida threatening to have a “burn a Quran” day, ugh. I Don’t agree with it and as fellow “sweaseler” SCOTTtheBADGER said, ”
It is interesting how the default setting for the “Religion of Peace” seems to be violence, and that they will behave so seems to be a given on the part of the rest of the world.
I sometimes wonder if Pastor Jones is a man out to exercise his right as an American to be a twit, or if he is a very clever man, out to make a point.”
THAT, I agree with. But as far as I’m aware, It seems that this was made into a international incident over night, without warning, And unnecessarily. If the whole point was to get press, hasn’t he gotten that? In fact, more than normal? wouldn’t have been better to see it on the news for all of 30 seconds, think, “what a nut.” and continue with your life? Instead really important thing like say… The fact that Iran is paying bounty’s to the Taliban for dead American soldiers and destroyed American vehicles Is going unnoticed due to this guy getting more attention then he deserves. This irritates me. I’m going to go get a taco.
A more irate then normal, M.T.E.
More Hurricane news.
Hurricane Safety Tips (As copied from theononion.com)
Hurricane season is upon us. Here are some tips to help protect you and your loved ones in the event of such a storm:
Hurricane Safety Tips
- Quickly find shelter atop nearest roof, tree or pier.
- Run through torrents of rain screaming, “I warned you all!” while clutching placards emblazoned with apocalyptic Bible verses.
- At first signs of hurricane weather, rush to Food Lion to stock up on 64-ounce containers of Ocean Spray Cranapple or Crangrape juice, just $2.79 when you present your Food Lion Supersaver card.
- At the exact center of a hurricane is an “eye” of utter tranquility. Use this safety zone as a launch window for your mission to rescue stranded astronaut Gene Hackman.
- To protect yourself from storm, build up your inner defense mechanisms by slowly retreating into state of deep denial.
- No matter how bad hurricane gets, don’t let Mr. Government Man make you leave your house.
- Stay on top of situation by keeping tuned to Channel 8’s SuperAtmoForecastTeam with live Doppler Radar.
- Detonating homemade bombs fashioned from gasoline and manure is dangerous even in ideal weather conditions. Steer especially clear of such detonations throughout the duration of hurricane.
- Tell your children firmly and clearly, “I’m so sorry that we’re all going to die.”
- Save urine in jars.
- To minimize risk of hurricane damage, avoid building vacation home atop ocean.
- Blood sacrifices have been known to appease the angry monsoon gods. If goats and chickens do not suffice, capture one of the White-Men-Who-Speak-Of-Jesus from the missionary school and dispatch him to the sky-realm of Urguta.
- Before evacuating home, coat walls and possessions with adhesive glue. Afterwards, everything will be blown into one easy-to-collect lump.
- At the height of the storm’s intensity, go at it with your spouse like there’s no tomorrow. Not only is it the thrill of a lifetime, but the heightened reflexes caused by your enhanced physical state will better enable both of you to survive in the event of a sudden catastrophic, explosive decompression of your home.
- Whatever happens, remember: It’s not your fault.(second pic is one i found. first is the onion’s. )
I KNEW he was up to no good!
So, since its FINALLY stopped raining around here, I figured i’d post a bit from Theonion.com since i’m lazy right now. 😛 . Have a happy 3 day weekend everyone ! happy labor day! (the day where we do abosloutely no labor at all!)
A mostly lethargic Monotone the Elderish.
Troglodyte I am.
So, I’m sitting here and its been raining two days straight. Crud. I have a feeling its going to be like this for a while. In other news, (just in case you haven’t noticed) There’s a Category 4 hurricane off the east coast. And i just saw a guy on the tele, heading TOWARDS the hurricane with a kayak(why?). Brilliant. Anyway, I’m nowhere near that mess so i’m going to hide in my basement/rootcellar/dungeon/ until its over. Or until I run out of comics. Or food. Or someone shuts the power off. Other than any of THAT. I’m totally prepared for most anything.
Monotone, The Elderish
One of these days, One of them is going to get eaten.
So, after checking the news this morning, I found out that were going to try and land a couple astronauts on a asteroid. Why? Whats on it? Nothing. It’s a rock. In space. That’s it. Why bother? And for that matter, why now? In the middle of a economic crisis? I mean we already canceled a mission to try and find other life on another planet, why is this particular rock any better? Plus there’s that whole “head of muslim relations” thing. Since WHEN does the “National Aeronautics and Space Administration” have ANYTHING to do with diplomacy of any sort? It’s stupid. Plain and simple. but anyway, Joe Cocker, ladies and gents.
Monotone, the Elderish
Garbled in Communication 