Semi-Daily, Bunches of fun!

Mall Ninjas. Wow.

This probably the wierdest forum thread I ‘ve seen in a while.  Basicly, Two people (Gecko45 and SPECOPS) that are completely off their nut, Log onto a tactical weapons site and start spouting all manner of  wild stupidity.

It’s here in it’s entirety but I’ll post the best bits here.

The Bolded sections are waaaay out there.

 

I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We “RTFers”, by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons.

We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don’t think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

 

We were previuosly restricted to .38’s and two Mossberg 500’s with less leathel rounds in them, but when our team saved the life and possibly the virginity of the Mayor’s nephew, there was a special relaxation of the rules made for us, due to the factt that the nepheew(who will remain nameless to rpevent a scandal) was saved by us using weapons better than our issue setup, so now we have good funding for gear for our jobs, and we needed to find relaible SMG’s, but the HK’s just wouldn’t cut it.

(Mono here, See what I mean? Off. The flipping. Deep end.)

 

BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual. It’s when you practice it daily, like yourself, that you become a homosexual.

 

 

Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog, you warn them that they will be charged with a felony(grand theft), and that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately, first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to maim, then wounded.

 

(Mono – WTF? Shooting someone over a cheese log? Sheesh what a grump.)

 

 

But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot, the target practice with my dearest comrades and friends, the members of my teams, and our live fire exercises-Can I leave it all behind? should I?

 

We have a name for guys like you in the “industry”: fecal-freaks. One time I had to do an dynamic entry on the ladies bathroom, because some freak had snuck in there and was trying to smear excrement on one of the lady patrons.

 

(Mono- Ladies and gents, A dynamic entry is dynamic because of the explosives used. Since when do people blow up bathroom doors? Since when are bathroom doors constructed that well?)

 

That, is the myth of the mall ninja. It’s hilarious.

 

Till next time, Mono.

 

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